[Talk - Ishi]

Ishi slumped in a chair at one of the tables, head buried in her hands… I walked up next to her and put a hand carefully on her shoulder.

Tim sighs.
Timaeus
Hey.
Ishi hides behind her snapback.
Ishi
…Hey. Sorry I yelled at you.
Tim smiles weakly.
Timaeus
It’s okay. If you want to– to see her, I think they’re pretty much done investigating now…
Ishi hesitates.
Ishi
Ishi starts crying again.
Ishi
…Nah, I don’t think I can handle it. I’d rather remember her how she… how she’s s’posed to be.

I nodded weakly.

Something not a lot of people know about Ishi is just how hard she fights to keep her bravado up. It’s the reason she’s such a good captain for her roller derby team– she can take anything you throw at her with a shit-eating grin on her face. Until something happens that really shakes her to her core… and all the walls come crashing down.

Ishi sobs.
Ishi
We… we coulda been such good friends, y’know? Me and Guga… She was loud and funny, a-and she cared about shit, like me… ahaha, I liked her! I just wanted to be friends…
Tim's not maintaining his composure any more effectively.
Timaeus
Ishi gets mad.
Ishi
And I knew her for like, three fuckin' days and now she’s fuckin' dead! And there’s no goddam reason for it! It’s not! Fuckin'! Fair!
Tim looks morose.
Timaeus
Ishi…
Ishi cries.
Ishi
A-and I know we don’t got time for my shit right now but– we tried so hard to stop it and we couldn’t stop it and–
Ishi sobs.
Ishi
What do I fuckin' do, Tim? Why is this happening? I feel so fuckin' useless…
Tim sighs.
Timaeus
I don’t know… I don’t know. I’m so sorry.

We sat there for a while as Ishi sobbed into her hands, and I kept an eye out for anyone approaching– she always hated it when people saw her cry.

Eventually, though, she sniffled and looked up at me with a strained smile.

Ishi smiles weakly.
Ishi
What are you apologizing for, dude? I’d be more worried if you did know.
Tim sighs.
Timaeus
I guess so, huh.
Tim looks serious.
Timaeus
…You gotta stay safe for me, dude.
Ishi
You too, dude.
Timaeus
Promise?
Ishi
I’ll spit on it.
Timaeus
Gross… ehehe.

She did, in fact, spit on her palm as we did our secret handshake, and I spat on mine. Everyone knows you can’t break a spit promise.

I gave her one more hug before leaving to talk to the others. It hurt so much to see her like this… But she deserved a chance to let her feelings out, too.