[Talk - Nikola]

We were all taking Gugalanna’s death hard, of course– even if not everyone seemed to show it. One person’s reaction, however was on another level entirely.

Not content to simply leave the room, Nikola had run to the complete opposite side of the cafeteria, where he cowered against a wall with his head in his hands. Trying to approach him felt a bit like cornering a scared animal… I decided to keep my distance from him as I spoke.

Tim frowns.
Timaeus
Hey… Nik?
Nik is practically curled up in the fetal position.
Nikola
…Tim…?
Tim sighs.
Timaeus
Um… Do you need anything? Want me to get you some water, or…
Nik looks up a little.
Nikola
…

He looked up at me briefly with huge watery eyes, started to say something, then ducked his head down again. I could see him shivering a little.

But he hadn’t told me to go away… I sat down next to him quietly and waited for him to speak.

Tim looks away.
Timaeus
…
Nik looks away.
Nikola
…I’m just… scared, Tim. Really really really scared.
Tim sighs.
Timaeus
Yeah, me too–
Nik laughs sharply.
Nikola
No you’re not! N-not like me. At least it I really hope it’s not like me! That would… be bad! Ahaha…
Nik sighs.
Nikola
…Shouldn’t you be– helping the others? There’s not much time, not enough time, I’m not…
Tim smiles gently.
Timaeus
I already did everything I could think of to do before the trial… Don’t worry about that.
Nik looks away.
Nikola
Mmh… b-but it’s still… You’re wasting your time, Tim, when I’m like this it’s– I’m uh–

He rapped his knuckles against the side of his head.

Nik looks miserable.
Nikola
–Kinda messed up in the head. I’ll see things and hear things and–
Tim yelps.
Timaeus
Th-that’s all the more reason for me to stay with you!
Nik hides again.
Nikola
No no no no no there’s not anything you can do just– leave me alone and go help the others, okay? I’ll… get over it! I always do!
Tim hesitates.
Timaeus
But–

He smoothed his hair back and laughed it off with a bright TV smile, so close to convincing that it was kind of terrifying.

Nik forces a laugh.
Nikola
I’ll be fine! See? They need your help, Tim. Go on!
Tim sighs.
Timaeus
Jesus, Nik…

But he was right– there really wasn’t time to have this conversation now. I sighed heavily.

Tim frowns.
Timaeus
O-okay, I’ll go, but once this trial is over… Will you talk to me– or somebody, anybody, about what’s happening? Please?
Nik huddles again.
Nikola
…okay…

He buried his face in his arms again and turned away.

I did eventually return to the others, but that sure didn’t mean I was done worrying about Nikola. I’d had my fair share of panic attacks (and was fighting one off right now) but holy crap… Was he even going to make it through this morning?

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