Timaeus

Maybe you work so much, you’re not sure what to do with free time! Like a workaholic who… doesn’t like working.

Tiffani

…it’s not a problem with the port, the internet connection must be disabled at the router–

Timaeus

Tiffani, it’s okay! Really! You can stop if you want to…

Tiffani

What if I don’t want… to… okay fine. What do I do now?

Timaeus

Um, well, what do you do when you go home? You don’t sleep at the office, right?

Tiffani

Uhhhh… not most of the time, I guess. I sleep, and I eat, and I walk the dog…

Timaeus

Dog? You have a dog! Tell me about your dog!

Tiffani

Um… his name’s Haskell. Ugly as shit lil' pug. He farts a lot and eats my toilet paper when I’m not home. Lil' Jabba the Hutt fucker…

Her words were harsh and cruel as ever, but it looked like she was… smiling a little. Like, actually smiling, not her snarky just-thought-of-a-nasty-burn grin.

Tiffani

…He’s not so bad, I guess. I hope he’s alright.

Timaeus

Tiffani! That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard you say about anyone!

Tiffani

Well, a dog doesn’t call you at three in the morning because they fucked over their $5000 workstation with a virus from a porn site.

Timaeus

I mean… yeah, that’s fair.

Tiffani

You wouldn’t believe how much of that shit happens at, like, the CFO/CEO level. Like, please for the love of god, just keep your damn browser updated, and if you’re gonna go looking for porn find a good adblocker and stick to the more reputable streaming sites–

Timaeus

I-I don’t– I’ll keep my browser updated!!

Tiffani

Oh riiiiight, I forgot I was talking to the biggest square on the station! Mister “everybody let’s work together like this is a school project and not a fucking hostage situation!”

Timaeus

I don’t sound like that!!!

…I did kind of sound like that.

Tiffani snickered as she turned back towards the computer. Despite her abrasiveness, though, I’d finally found a point of common interest, and I wasn’t about to let go of it.

Timaeus

C-can I see your dog?! Do you have any pictures? He can’t possibly be as ugly as you say he is…

Tiffani

…Do you… really wanna see him?

Timaeus

Of course I do!

Tiffani pulled a wallet out of her back pocket and flipped it open for me to see…

Timaeus

He, uh… He sure is something! Isn’t it a bit, um, unhealthy for him to be so…

Tiffani

No shit he’s unhealthy! I rescued him from a puppy hoarder… He’s on a special diet now, it’s just slow going.

Tiffani

At least the vaccines are over with, and he’s warming up to people again…

Timaeus

That’s such a nice thing to do! You have a soft side after all, don’t you?

Tiffani

Hmph. Like I said, a dog won’t ruin a major financial institution’s backup servers with a RAID misconfig and cover their tracks for years so they don’t lose their shitty promotion.

I didn’t understand every single word of that, but I got the sentiment.

Timaeus

Yeah… Dogs are pretty great!

Tiffani

…Yeah…

Tiffani

What the hell are you still doing here?! Can’t you see I’m trying to work?

Timaeus

Sorry, sorry, I’ll leave you alone now! Ahaha.

She batted me away from the computer defensively as I left, and started typing faster than ever into that weird black box.

I may have gotten shooed out of the room, but I think I got to know her a little better. Tiffani may not have the most pleasant attitude, but at least she doesn’t hate everything! Dogs really are a blessing, aren’t they?

Still, I wondered… was it really just her job that fostered such a disgust for humanity?