[Talk - Ping]

Introduction card for Ping, the Ultimate ???. She's a robot with four arms, a round cartoonish face, two "hair" buns like Princess Leia, and antennae.

The… robot? was playing with the short girl’s massive brown curls as if it had never seen human hair before in its life. Said girl didn’t seem terribly happy with the situation, so I tried to distract the robot by introducing myself.

Tim looks nervous.
Timaeus
Hello, um, what’s your name?

Its head spun around to face me, and its body followed suit a few seconds later.

Ping poses cutely.
Ping
I’m Ping!~ I’m a revolutionary A.I. designed to grow intellectually and socially on the level of a 14-year-old human being! I’m a purely demonstration unit and still in early alpha, so please send bug reports to the Xiulan Robotics dedicated bug tracker!~
Tim looks confused.
Timaeus
O…kay?

That definitely sounded recorded. Could it even speak on its own?

Ping talks.
Ping
Who are youuu?~
Tim smiles nervously.
Timaeus
Um… Timaeus? Timaeus Woodworth. I’m the Ultimate Librarian– HEY!

It didn’t seem to notice I’d said anything– instead it picked a few strands of my hair to run its fingers through. At least it was leaving the considerably more dangerous girl alone?

Ping laughs.
Ping
Your hair is smooth, and hers is curly… Kyohoho! Humans are weird!~
Tim looks disturbed.
Timaeus
That they sure are, buddy.

Didn’t it just say it was supposed to have the mind of a 14-year-old, not a 5-year-old? Either way, it was a little too close to uncanny valley for me, so I tried to escape the reach of its four spindly arms.

Ping looks confused.
Ping
Uwa! Why are you leaving?~
Tim looks nervous.
Timaeus
Um, it’s– it’s not nice to pull people’s hair, you know… You know that, right?
Ping looks confused.
Ping

It froze as if it was having a life-changing epiphany.

I took advantage of the robot’s existential crisis to make a quick exit from the conversation. Had the circumstances been less dire, I might have stayed to explain human social norms in finer detail… but frankly, this thing was creeping me out. I could deal with it later.

Weren’t we supposed to be Hope’s Peak students, anyway? Why was it here with the rest of us?